Did You Miss Me?

My first thought when I walked out of San Diego airport and looked around was "Tot0, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!!" It was totally like being in a different world. The city is beautiful. The conference was better than fabulous. The experience was surreal. But this morning I found myself clicking my ruby red slippers and saying "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home." Poof--here I am!! Very weary and short on sleep. Hope to get some pictures and stories online soon--just wanted to let everyone know that I am home--safe and sound--and my family was glad to see me (although, everyone has grown an inch)--and my house was still standing, and looking no worse for the wear! Thanks everyone for your prayers of safe keeping!!

A Rose by Any Other Name

The roses have been especially beautiful the last couple weeks. I strolled out a few mornings ago to capture some photos, and decided that I had a few more roses than I realized, though still probably way fewer than other people!! Thought that I would share them!! The rose above is called Tropicana, and was given to me by my mother in law a few years ago. It is an incredible bright reddish orange hue that lightens to tangerine when opened. Not much smell, but it's bright color TOTALLY makes up for it!!

This lavender beauty has the most wonderful scent ever!! Not like a rose, but something a little indescribable! It was living (existing, rather) in the raised bed next to my backdoor. It didn't really thrive there, so last fall, I dug it up and planted it next to my inferno strip garden right out the back door, next to the new sidewalk. It already has had more blooms on it in the last 2 weeks than it has had in the last 5 years! I guess it likes it! The miniature rose bushes are starting to bloom. This one is loaded!! And the other mini rose bush is beginning to bloom. It is probably 2 1/2 to 3 feet tall now and about that wide. Gorgeous blooms right outside of my kitchen window!

A bridal pink rose that my mother gave to me on one of my first mother's days After we moved to this place. It was also transplanted once to go next to our deck on the west side of the house. These double knock out roses are in FULL bloom and are astonishing!! What a brilliant punch of color that everyone notices the minute they drive into our lane. Right now they contrast the multitudes of peach irises, the dwarf blue spruce, the pink mini-rose and the light pink peonies. (oh yeah, and the weeds and bermuda grass trying to find a home!)

I have both the double knock out and the single knock out roses, and definitely prefer the doubles. Their blooms look more like the hybrid blooms, which I just think are prettier. This hot pink bloom is a double knock out close up.

I have one yellow rose-not sure what variety--but it has a little peach tinge to the outer petal when it opens up fully. It may be a Chicago Peace, but I wouldn't swear to it. It holds up great in a vase and has provided me with many joyful blooms!!This morning's drive to Oklahoma was a beautiful one. The rains and heavy mist were persistent all the way, but I loved every minute of it. We are sure needing rain in our parts, and the next two days look promising! That being said, I am heading out of Wichita in the morning for San Diego. I will be attending a women's health conference there until Sunday. So I am SURE hoping not to be delayed because of weather. My bags are nearly packed, the laundry is done, and life is lined out for the rest of the crew. I am a little nervous, because I have never left J home alone with this many kids for this long of time period. Please keep us ALL in your prayers this week!!

I hope to be able to take J's laptop with me for evening entertainment (I am geographically challenged, so won't be going out much for sightseeing, lest I become lost and never make it home!) But even if I take it with me, there's still a good chance that I won't ever be able to figure out how to hook it to the net (I'm also a computer RETARD!) Wishing eveyone a great week!!

Zip Line Overhaul

I grew up the oldest of four children. I have one younger sister and 2 brothers. I was used to the estrogenic components of having to get along with another girl, but I haven't much recollection of dealing with the testosterone of those brothers. Apparently, I either stifled them or I ignored them. The boys were 4 years and 7 years younger than I. We made them play house and church. My sister and I tag teamed them and tied their tube socks together. And they danced with us to Perry Como's rendition of "the twelve days of Christmas" while making peppernuts every year. But I don't recall doing any "boy" kind of games.

Needless to say, all this testosterone at my house has been a learning experience. I have had people call me to ask if I knew that my children (the boys of course) were out on my roof (yes, the one on my house--to which they easily access by climbing out the upstairs windows--any of them). I have had people mention that, while they were driving by, they noticed the boys jumping out of the tree tops onto their trampoline. They race their go-karts as fast as they can. They can often be witnessed stalking rabbits with their BB guns. Boys, all the way around!

Their dad, truly, isn't any better. He shows them how to blow up nasty zucchini from the neighbors with black cat fire crackers. He races cars and shooting predators is a sport. He tried to tune up the go kart he was assigned at the playground on our honeymoon, for heaven's sake--and proceeded to race an 8 year old that didn't even know they were racing!!

So I shouldn't have been a bit surprised the weekend a few years ago that they (THEY???)decided they needed a zip line. A zip line, you ask?? A zip line is a wire strung between 2 trees, approximately 8-10 feet off the earth. Attached to the wire is a bicycle handle balanced on the wire by a bicycle wheel.

You climb the tree, grab onto the handles and jump. Yes, jump--out of the tree--holding on to an upside down unicycle! Sound like fun? They certainly think so. . .and all the kids who come to the 4th of July party!! It's been a total hit for any child weighing less than about 210 pounds that appears at our home!

Somehow, the zip line became disengaged from it's tree a few weeks ago. And that became a project for the afternoon!! The big wheel got replaced by a smaller wheel, that will hopefully stay on the cable better after they "dismantel" from the handles, or fall off, whichever may occur first. This has been the object of much critique and complaining since the original line went up several years ago. If you didn't get off slowly (SLOWLY??), the wheel flipped to the side of the wire, and it was hard for the kids to get it back on the track from 8 feet under!

So, the line is again, fully operational. See what you missed by going home early Grandma??? They would have let you try it!!

Retaining Wall Project

I am finally getting to finish up this new flower bed. After we went to the folks last month, J did some dirt work on the corner of the yard where we put a new rock retaining wall. When we moved in 12 years ago, the yard was just nasty grass, except where the grass took a very steep plummet to the driveway. Nothing would grow there, ABSOLUTELY nothing. And believe me I tried--grass seeds and groundcovers and more grass seeds. The water just ran off the slope, not even looking back.

So we added one rock retaining wall several years ago,

then a second,

And a third part created from some old railroad ties to add on to the existing. Finally this year completing the last section with rocks from our last load.

Each section has had dirt work to decrease the incline and add surface area for plantings. J has essentially scraped the bottom of the slope off with his little 'ole tractor, and then backfilled dirt in for me after the rocks were in place. Then I spread the dirt piles around, getting the dirt settled against the "wall." This new sloped garden is anchored on the corner by 2 varieties of butterfly bushes, planted in memory of my grandfather a couple years ago (my employer has sent me gift certificates to our local plant retailer after the passing of 3 of my grandparents over the last few years. I have enjoyed being able to plant something that will live on in their memory instead of fresh flowers whose days are limited.) To this new section I added some plants divided from my other gardens. I put two clumps of a tall shasta daisy, a clump of pink yarrow (achillea), a couple clumps of a pink day lily I rescued from the new herb garden (barely seen clear in the back of this picture to the left of the back door--the old herb garden is still on the right side of the door--now I have 2 small ones!), a clump of stella d'orro day lily moved completely from another location, and about 4 clumps of some fall blooming mums that were happily reseeding themselves everywhere!! To that I added some tall orange snapdragons, and two groundcover plants, blue flax and purple robe rockfoil--all of which I bought from the local nursery. I've been wanting to try some more varieties of lavender, so I had ordered some from Roots and Rhizomes when I ordered my replacement plant for the daisy that died from my collection last year. (because it would have been RIDICULOUS for them to ship that ONE, teeny, tiny plant in that GREAT big box--I'm always thinkin'). I decided when they came in, that I would add them to this bed instead of the one they were purchased for. I have Lavender "Anouk", "Silver Anouk" and "Grosso." I also bought a white perennial phlox "David," (for bouqets) and an agastache "Blue Adder" from the same place. Dev and I sprinkled zinnia seeds amongst the plantings (pure white, hot pink, and a purple)--they seem to be germinating. Finally last week, I added little peat pots of some black-eyed susans and purple coneflower that I started from seed in the greenhouse. They are still very tiny, but should take off soon and will bloom next summer.
I even put a little rock path up to the electricity meter (then was informed by J that they no longer READ my meter, a little gadget in the sky does it--oh well, the path is cute anyway!)

Finally, finally, FINALLY last night about 8:00 I ran outside and mulched stuff in as fast as I could go--until it was too dark to see anymore! I have grown tired of sprinkling that soil every day to keep things alive and sprouting. The cypress mulch will help a great deal!! Although with the clouds and fall-like COLD weather, nothing seems to be baking right now!!

This morning was the most beautiful morning we have had so far. It was very warm and muggy, the air heavy with moisture. I stole 5 minutes to stroll through the garden before heading for work. The wrens and mockingbirds were serenading me, the air was delicious, the flowers were stunningly vibrant, and all was well in my mind and in my heart! I cherish those few moments of peace to remember to be thankful for all I have been given and the abundant blessings that I have recieved!!

I pray that each of you take time to "stop and smell your roses" today--That you may be invigorated by that which was wonderously made--That you will find peace and happiness in the simple things--and that you find the vision and strength to turn something messy. . .

. . . Into something inspiring!

One Fine Day

The two oldest boys went on a "mystery" trip for school today. They had to earn the trip by meeting reading goals throughout the year. They (and we) actually have no idea where they get to go until they get on the bus that day. My friend's daughter texted her this morning and said they were going to an arcade and then shopping at the mall in Wichita. When they got back this evening they went directly to the school for a "rock-in" all nighter there. A group got a Christian rock band to come in and give a concert for the kids, and then they are planning movies, Wii games on super huge screen TV's, and surely lots of food. So we haven't seen those guys since early this morning.

The 2 little ones and I have been lying low around the house today. It was cold and windy until later this afternoon, when we finally got out to see the world. While C was napping, D discovered the blooming iris. He had one bloom popped off before I knew it, so we found a knife and took a tour around the gardens to see what we could snatch for a nice bouquet. We found some peonies blooming. They are of unknown variety since I got them in a cheapo mixture from some company 2 years ago. The one blooming is a dark pink. From the looks of the buds on the other 2, they are double white and a light pink. The dark pink smells heavenly!! We also found irises in shades of purple, two-toned purple, white, yellow, a burgundy and salmon, and periwinkle blue. The peach iris will be blooming in a couple days. We also found some buds that appeared to be hybrid (big blooms) with a deep purple tinge. I am SO hoping that it is the lost variety that I haven't seen since I moved my iris from the location that my waterfall now lives. It was a reblooming variety called Batik that was white with a deep purple tipped bloom--it was my favorite color of the 5 I had gotten in that collection!! Hopefully it will bloom out soon so we can see what it is! We also found a periennial purple phlox (the tall kind), some blooms on the back knock out roses put in after my grandparents died 3 years ago. We found the orange honeysuckle blooming prolifically (which you will notice behind the galvanized tub of flowers on our west deck). And also found buds on several of the rose bushes, in addition to a few little blooms on my miniature rose bush. It's so refreshing to find everything waking up after the winter slumber!

Look who else we found today!!

D hadn't gotten to see this little guy in his house yet. As soon as we walked out on the deck this afternoon we could hear him singing. I spotted him on the top of this birdhouse before he quickly disappeared inside. I had my camera with me taking pictures of the blooms we found. It was zoomed out to 40X digital zoom so if you look at it closer it will be quite grainy. But I'm tickled that I caught him anyway. Isn't he a jewel!?!

What a crazy spring this has been!! I planted my tomatos (most of them) and some peppers earlier this week, against my better judgment. But I was so ready to get them in the ground. Tonight is going to be in the mid 30's here. BRRRR! I hope it doesn't shell shock 'em too bad!!

Waiting on the sweet corn and okra to come up. The beets are sporadic to say the least, but the swiss chard is looking great--hope it tastes as good as it looks. The cukes are sprouted in the greenhouse and one watermelon had surfaced as well. The next good planting day will find me seeding the pumpkin seeds in the greenhouse (another new crop for us this year) The sloped garden is looking better, the things that I transplanted a week ago or so didn't much appreciate the heat, but are perking up now. Many zinnias have sprouted, so I am about ready to mulch the rest of the bed in. The little guys helped (helped???) me mulch the herb garden and potted plants with cotton seed hulls this afternoon. I like cotton seed mulch better for the purpose of mulching around dainty little things because it is so fine and conforms around the plants so nicely. I'm thrilled that the spring "rush" of gardening is almost over and then will be time to just relax and enjoy!! Lots going on this weekend, so gardening will be limited--which is ok!

Hope everyone has a Happy Mother's Day (especially my own mom!!) Wishing you all loads of blooms and cute little bloom pickers to share them with!!

Reality Check

Today I feel frustration. I feel stressed. I feel anxious. I feel overwhelmed by the horrible things that people deal with in their lives. I feel sorrow for the generation which doesn't seem to care about the "right" way to do things. I feel fatigue in dealing with people who make bad choices and then don't understand why their lives are so rough. I feel pain for the children I work with whose PARENTS make bad choices and those kids are left to teach themselves (generally without success).

I wonder if anyone will ever be able to make a difference in their lives. I wonder about the difference I make. . .I wonder if I just talk and explain and care and worry in vain. I wonder how they will cope in their suffering. I wonder if some of them will ever find God and trust in Him.

I pray. I know fully that God is in control. . .I know fully that he uses me as his tool in people's lives. . .I know that fully that my words are His words, speaking to hearts what he needs them to hear at that moment. I pray that my words and actions are right. I pray that they can see Jesus in my eyes or that they can feel Him in my presence. I pray. For wisdom and truth.

But still. . .I find myself wondering. . .and feeling.

In the last two weeks I have cared for a 15 year old who was 2 months post-partum. I have cared for MANY women/girls who are so lost in the sins of sexual immorality that I wonder if they will ever find their way. . and if they do, will they be remorseful and repentent, or will they even know that they were wrong? I have cared for teenagers whose family life is completely INCOMPREHENSIBLE to me and I wonder how they could ever possibly grow up "normal." I have cared for women who have their had their hearts broken. I have cared for non-compliant people that make me want to gouge my eyes out. I have cared for long time patients now facing terrible and terminal illnesses. I have cared for their families that have to cope with, not only a changing family member, but the fact that the life they love so much, may be gone more quickly than they ever dreamed. I have cared for families dealing with more than one devastating disease within their family unit at once. I have cared for friends to whom I have had to explain their new chronic disease processes, diseases that make them face their own morbidity and mortality. I have cared for so many people that are breaking my heart, that I feel emotionally wasted. . drained. . dead.

Please don't get me wrong. I love my job. I love my patients. I love what I do. That love is what makes me who I am, and is the driving force behind what I do. But today my heart feels heavy. Heavy with questions for God. Why?? It's not my job to understand, or to see the big picture. It's not my job to judge people. It's not my job to question God. It is my job to pray; and my job to listen for God's soft whisper; and my job to say the things he lays on my heart to say.

The thing that I LOVE most about blogging, is that I can be me, talking about what I want to! I can be silly if I want, educational if I choose, serious and reflective if I need to be, but it's always MY choice. I enjoy telling stories on my family, and love talking about gardening or cooking or the latest projects. As I have grown in my career over the last 15 years, it seems more people can relate to me only on a medical level, and less people can relate that I am just a plain, ole ordinary person who doesn't LOVE to talk shop always and everywhere. I am not tougher than anyone else, not cooler than anyone else, not a hero. I am just me; just a human; one who hurts like you, bleeds like you, and screws up DAILY. .just like everyone else!!

SO, as I moped around my kitchen this evening in my heavy-heartedness praying for wisdom and answers and peace, I felt the urgency to blog. I argued with myself for over an hour. No one wants to hear that; no one will understand; TOO HEAVY. The soft, familiar voice that I hear so often spoke: "I need you to write." And here I am. Not sure why, other than that God told me to write. I hope the writing will benefit someone. But even if it doesn't, it seems to have benefited me!! I am feeling better, and more courageous, and strengthened. Thanks for listening. . and I promise not to make a habit of this! Tomorrow will be fresh and new and better!

1 Peter 5:6-11

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Bird Stories

I think that my two favorite birds would be the wren and the mockingbird, reason being, that they both have such amazingly clear and beautiful songs! We were blessed all day to hear the clear wren tunes through the spring air! Today Cami and I were outside after lunch playing on the tramoline. I was listening to the multitudes of bird songs in the air. Shortly, a little wren flew up into the tree next to the trampoline. I was quickly able to spot him and point him out to C. Much to our delight, he flew about 10 yards from us and perched on the birdhouse I bought at the craft fair last fall. We watched as he began to put twigs inside the holes for a nest. I am tickled pink to have them nesting so close that we can watch them regularly. I also noticed a wren flying into the birdhouse that D and Paster Doug made this past winter. Wrens will make nests in several places and then show his "gal" around the different nests, and she decides which one she likes best! So I don't know if it was the same little guy, or a different one--but from the sounds of it, their are many wrens hanging out in the tree row. Lucky for us!! A few years ago we didn't have any wrens at all, which was a disappointment because they are not only nice to listen to, but they are fun to watch as well.

new wren home in the Russian garden

It was a great day to birdwatch. It was a beautiful day again here!! Warm, and no wind. I love to work in the yard, but I am also finding it nice to sit back, relax, and enjoy the yard as well. After 12 years, there are flowers to look at, trees and evergreens enhancing the view, the water fall is again totally functional and put back together (cheer!), the little pitcher pump water feature is running and making a joyous sound, the butterflies flit about gracefully, and the birds soar and dance overhead. So enjoy the yard today, we did--and very little "work" happened around here! We noticed a lot of birds out. The recognizable ones were flycatchers, robins, wrens, meadowlarks, Baltimore orioles, mockingbird, black birds, mourning doves, barn swallows, several kinds of sparrows, and one little fat guy on the fencepost across the way that I couldn't identify--it looked a little like the picture of the chickadee in my book, but I wasn't close enough with my book open to decide. I have NEVER seen a male cardinal here, but a few females. I would LOVE, LOVE to have some cardinals--I keep planting stuff, hoping to attract a huge variety. (Build it and they will come!)


A few new flowers are blooming today. The periwinkle blue iris opened this morning to complement the white and the yellow iris already blooming, we are expecting a few more colors to pop any day. The 1/2 price bleeding hearts are still blooming. This is their second year in the ground here, and they are surviving nicely. A few lilac stragglers are still perfuming the air. The purple columbine are making a lovely show too!! The one in the picture was a volunteer plant that I moved a couple years ago--the host plant died--but this one looks great! The old fashioned yellow rose is starting to bloom as well. Lots of buds we did find on lots of other plants. I think the colors of spring are so MUCH more vibrant than any other time of the year. I love it, love it, love it!


I assigned J to make dessert tonight in his dutch oven. So far the fire pit has been used twice-once last week for smores and today for the cookin' of the cobbler. Yum!!

Here's the recipe for all you folks that might be wanting to do a little camping or cookin' this summer. He got it from his friend Lane, who always makes us cobbler during our annual camp out!

Cast Iron Cobbler

2 cans any type of pie filling

1 cake mix, any flavor

You can either mix the cake mix according to the directions, or for a crunchy topping, mix the cake mix with one 12 oz can of soda, any flavor. Pour over the pie filling that has been dumped in the bottom of a 12 inch cast iron dutch oven. Place oven on top of smoldering charcoal. Put about 13 briquets on the top of the lid and cook for 30-45 minutes. Today we used strawberry pie filling and butter yellow cake. Cherry or peach pie filling with white cake is good, as is cherry pie filling and chocolate cake mix.

Planting day is tomorrow!!